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 Drew, Jenny! Oh my gosh! I haven t seen you guys in ages!
We turn and see Candy, the server whose section we always used to sit in when we would
come here.
 Candy! We were hoping you d be here tonight, Drew tells her as she gives me a quick hug.
 I wore your favorite shirt just in case.
Drew turns and holds his shirt out for her so she's a picture of a woman upside down on a
stripper pole with the words: I support single moms.
He had made the taxi driver run by our house on the way to the club just so he could change.
Drew makes introductions and when everyone else orders beers, Drew and I look at each other
and then at them.
 Oh no. You aren t drinking just beer at a strip club. Shots only, folks! Drew tells them
before giving Candy an order for six Little Beers.
 It s okay, you guys can look at the chick dancing on the stage. You won t go blind or
anything, I tell Liz and Claire with a laugh.
Ever since we sat down they have looked everywhere but at the topless woman gyrating on the
pole four feet in front of them.
It feels good to finally know more about something than my friends.
Claire is the first to turn and look and Carter rubs his hand in soothing circles on her back.
 I really should be a lot drunker for this right now, she mutters.
As soon as she says that, Candy is back with the shots we ordered, along with another round of
shots and six dark beers that she sets in front of each of us.
 You two look like you could use a little more alcohol to get through this night, she says to Liz
and Claire with a smile.  The Little Beers are the ones on the left and to your right is everything you
need for an Irish Car Bomb. Drop that shot glass with the amber liquid into the beer and immediately
start chugging. Enjoy!
Candy walks away and we all pick up our Little Beers.
 What the hell are in these? Jim asks.
 It s called Liquor 43 with a splash of cream on top to make it look like foam, Drew tells
them.
 It looks like jizz, Carter says, bringing the shot to his nose and sniffing it.
 Don t worry. It doesn t taste like jizz. It s sweeter, I tell him.  Well, except for that one time
we went to a bulk candy store and Drew ate two pounds of gummy worms. It tasted like cherry-lime
then.
Drew grabs the seat of my chair and pulls it closer to his so he can put his arm on the back of
my chair.
 Remember we played that fishing game with the gummy worms? We used my old fishing line
from when I was little that we found in the basement, and I tied the worm to the end and shoved it-
 No! Please God, no, Claire says as she puts her hand up to stop Drew from going any
further.  Hurry up and make a fucking toast before I puke on this table.
We all raise our arms in the air and Drew clears his throat.
 To naked chicks on poles and putting our poles into naked chicks!
Claire and Liz let out disgusted sounds before we all do our shots.
We immediately follow them up with the Irish Car bombs and then order two more rounds of
car bombs right after since everyone loves them.
Fifteen minutes later we are all beyond buzzed and Claire and Liz are finally enjoying their
environment.
 Oooooh, she s pretty. I wonder if her boobs are real, Claire says, pointing to a blonde that
just got off of the stage.  Excuse me, can I touch your boobs?
Carter clutches on to the front of Drew s t-shirt and stares as Claire calls the blonde stripper
over, and she immediately agrees to let Claire touch her boobs.
 If this is a dream, never, ever wake me up, Carter mumbles as he watches wide eyed while
Claire cups the girl s boobs.
 Welcome to the dark side, my friend, Drew says, clapping him on the back.
Liz suddenly gets up from her chair, walks around the table, and straddles my lap, resting her
elbows on my shoulders and pushing her boobs into my face.
 I m really drunk, Liz tells me.
 I know, honey, I reply with a laugh as I wrap my arms around her and pat her back.
 I think I should give you a lap dance, she says as if she s discussing painting her nails.
 Yes, yes you should. What a super idea! Jim says, pulling his chair around the table and
sitting right next to us.
 Okay. I m gonna do it. Don t ask me to have sex with you though, Jenny. Even though this is
gonna be awesome, I like penis, Liz informs me.
 I will try to remain myself, I tell her as she gets up from my lap, pushes my knees apart, and
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